dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
