how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
