Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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