youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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