if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
