dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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