You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
this just has baby written all over it
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
