I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
