Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize