okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
