I'm drive I can fine osifer
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
