Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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