It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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