In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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