i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
