Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Damn victory sex feels great
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
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