ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
