That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
