As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
