Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Randomize
