Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
My cat gives me a boner
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Randomize
