No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I'm sobbing to NWA
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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