i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
