I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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