If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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