you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
