I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
where are you?
Hypothermia
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize