I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
