On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
