i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
my shit smells like andre
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Randomize
