Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
