STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
