I wannas sexs uuuuu
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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