smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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