umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
