I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Randomize