Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
