Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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