My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
