You can't motorboat a personality
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Randomize
