he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
