I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
