hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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