I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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