Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize