his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
