all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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