also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
