Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
