I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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