Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
