where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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