she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
