tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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