marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
