Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
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