It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
