What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Are we still banned from the library?
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
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