NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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