I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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