I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
