just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
