pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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