yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Randomize
