dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
