In the future we'll all be gay
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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