my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
two words: eviction party
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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