I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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