Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
As shirtless as possible
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
