no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
