went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
This toilet bowl is my home.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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