Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize